I, and I’m sure many people under 30, received a letter from the AARP today encouraging membership. I’ve received many of these letters telling me to “get the most out of life over 50”. The AARP is apparently so opposed to ageism that they encourage young people to join their 50+ organization. In 2007, at the age of 26, I joined.

I filled out the form with my real birthdate and sent in my dues. The letter I got in return welcomed me to their “organization of mature people”. It also stated that “When you turn 50 … you’ll be entitled to all benefits and privileges of membership.” WHAT?! I have to wait till I’m 50? I am yet another young person fallen victim to a scam perpetrated by old-people. Like Ovaltine; that shit doesn’t taste like chocolate!

All was not lost though. Headlines were reporting that Jamie Lee Curtis would appear topless on AARP magazine. Woo! Now there’s a benefit to membership!

DAMNIT! I was expecting Demi Moore on Vanity Fair sort of nudity. Nope. Just more disappointment. It turns out this is just a photochop of her in a strapless dress, and she’s not too happy about it.

For some final lols, here’s a cover I annotated back in the day.